The bad

The kids are coming which is wonderful, but there's not much food here, I hope they enjoy themselves, not alot to do when it's cold out.

The good

Had a great time Tuesday, suspension and great music. Fresh holes in lucid make him happy, previewing xXRx was cool too. Gave away a few CDs before the album launches.
I'll ellaborate more later.

Write write write

Aside from helping produce a couple albums for friends, and even jumping in the writing process some too, I've been working myself crazy writing the new xXRx material, trying to capture what's in my head.
Dealing with personal demons isn't something I face head on often, but I can't avoid writing about things that are really bothering me.
"ma mere" will be dealing with my mothers illness, while tracks like heaven backwards will face other family issues.
This will be such a seperation from our usual sound, but once I have the right guitarist, I think it may be an evolution for us. We will always dabble in idm and dnb, but I love dark orchestral industrial, and this has plenty of that.
Blah blah blah, just unwinding my head before sitting down to mix more.

The next chapter begins.

Quite literally I'm rising from the ashes, feeling stronger than I was before.
Musically I've began my work on chapter two of xXRx next release, while that may seem odd, as chapter one hasn't released yet, I feel the music is done, it just needs some guitar and vocal work. I didn't want to sit around between chapters, I want them to come from a similar emotional state.

In my life, for several years, I suppose I've dabbled more with scientific ideas and practices, and put my spirituality on hold, I'm taking what I've learned in scientific practice and now applying it to my spiritual side. Yes, I kept that vague on both parts, you'll understand more as art and such comes from what I'm doing now. To define it a bit more: I was into digital work, and psychology, now I'm taking techniques learned and using them to build a more complete me.
I've gotten over feeling lonely, understanding as we get older, we are all less compatible, set in our ways, or on our own journeys. I don't think I have anything to offer, more important, I'm just not looking.
Photography I've purposely slowed to a crawl, I want to make art, not pretty pictures, so it's more important to wait until I know what I want to shoot. Sometimes inspiration can be forced, other times it must be sought. I will have a spread I shot for a dear friend in the next issue of dead timez magazine. It appealed to me artistically and was a great step for her.
Back to "work"....

Good to distract

Fallout new Vegas= crack... Hours of wandering. God of war III, don't get me started.

Mixing is pretty much done on the instruments for xXRx 333 chapter 1, just need some vocals and guitars.
My mood is so much healthier these days :)

Lucid.

And we're back.
Invigorated by opening back up my spiritual side, and gaining control of my dreams again.
I figured out the best dream cue ever, my own tattoos, I simply look at my arm, if it looks different( the dreamstate is very unstable) I know I'm dreaming. 5 lucid dreams in two nights.

I've been studying Kabbalah and numerology, as well as a few other random belief structures. It's nice just to open my spiritual side back up.

I'm feeling better on the medications. I've taken a few days off writing the new album, just for perspective. Rushing it will certainly not produce quality material. The search for a guitarist has been hard, I think I know who I'll be working with, but he's currently hard to reach.

Still reclusive, but I'm enjoying the alone time.

Mmm crack

Fable III and writing music... Shhh.