Maybe that's harsh

Sometimes (on here) I blurt out things before I mull them over, and in some ways that's the point of it. My therapist is a fucking blog page.
Either way, there's so much positivity in my life, I don't want it all to sound bad.

I almost had that thing. The thing that's missing in my life. Back to work, shovel it down, bury it inside, and remember how empty life is.

Your cunt
Your Christ
Your death
Your life

You can sit
You can spin
You can do it all again

Live your life to abstain just to find it's fucking waste
Open eyes, wake up, take a sip, have a taste.

here but once
Leave a mark
Take a shot
In the dark

Open wide
Supersize
Directors cut
Heed the wise

Suit and tie
Nine to five
Live the lie
Never thrive

Suck it up
Hold it in
Have a seat
Then do it all again

My old friend
Look down the barrel
Tell me what you see
The last thing you focus on.
Before you leave.

Pull the trigger, save us time.
A life lived in hatred is better gone
An insect, on it's knees.
Pray forgiveness
Then just bleed

Cock the hammer
Let it be
Empty the chamber
Set us free

No more drama no more need
The stain erased with one deed
Disappear now from this coil
Embrace your hate in the soil
Embrace the soil

Crawl inside
Warm womb
Embryotic
And so safe

Mask the pain
One more time
Tap the vein
Victimless crime

Who's to say
You'll make it out?
Who's to say
Without a doubt

Still birth
Wet still
you made it out
But not alive

Mask the pain
This last time
Life in vain
Victims crime

Adore

You taught me a new way to love, it was hard at first, very hard. Sharing you isn't easy, and knowing you're leaving soon makes me sad sometimes. I've accepted all of this, and I just soak up every moment I have with you, so I can recall them when I feel lonely.
Right now you're laying on the couch with me, we've been holding hands. I kept looking at you, while you watched a movie. I was more interested in memorizing your face than anything on the television.
I'm going to miss you, I'm going to hurt, there will be a void in my bed that will cost me nights of sleep. I'll always have these memories though, and that's all I need to be happy. You've reshaped my life, and I'll never forget you.
I love you.

I was watching you play with your niece, it made me realize what I almost had. It choked me up and I almost cried. It was just a glimpse of a life not lived.
I so very happy for you, and hope this completes your life and helps you achieve happiness.
Maven is a very lucky man, I hope that he treats you with the respect and love that you deserve.
It's hard holding you, joking with you, and loving you, when I know it ends soon. You've gotten me out of the house everyday, and eased my anxiety just by being close.
Not only am I losing you, I like your family, they're really nice and understanding, not All people accept me as I am.
There's more I want to say, but right now we are playing balderdash.