I need to open my mouth, to scream until whatever god in the heavens hears and understands how I feel inside.
Hollow, I carry on my daily tasks, slowly scratching my name in this stain of existence. I'm forgetting to feed my soul, to allow margin for error. To live. Cutting away with precision at these projects, I neglect the person behind the machines.
Wire-fed and tied, consumption in 1,s and 0's. Bled out to a new code, life-blood for bytes.
Sickness abounds everywhere I look, and I can't point a finger because I am bred from the same DNA. I can't slow down what time has in store, merely watch the cycles unfold.
My struggle to stay social is measured in milligrams. My lack of conformity is a sad joke I played on myself.
I can't complain, as life tosses me plenty of opportunities... Just none for happiness.
Lonely is a shitty place to live. It withers the mind, and changes everything about a person. It's not necessarily companionship I seek, just not this void. People manifest when something is needed, and just as quickly vanish from sight.
Don't assume this is about you. Seems I have to write that in everything I voice. Maybe this time you should... How much do any of you know about what's happening in my life right now? Outside these 4 walls, maybe three people understand what's wrong.
I can't explain it without sounding depressed. I just wanted to type it out for my own benefit.
Things are not ok, and all appearances will say otherwise, bit the cold in my home gets stronger with each days passage.
