I get it now. I keep believing in the goodness of people, trusting that they will be different. It's never different.
This weekend I was put through hell, and why? Because someone else didn't trust me, but once the truth was made obvious... The damage was done. I don't even know all of the specifics, I just know I tend to do a lot better when I stay independent, and strong. The second I let someone past my barriers, they find a way to hurt or exploit me. I'm tired, I've been depressed all weekend, and the closer I come to being able to reconcile this situation, the less eager I am to mess with it at all. I never trust my instincts, I always blindly believe in the good of people.
I'm starting to believe there is no good left.
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