The chair feels cold against my back. It's staring at me from the table, if I blink first it wins.
"go ahead, pick me up" it says. It's chamber opens and the six pills fall out. "now I'm not even loaded, it's safe". The trigger feels freshly oiled, my palm sweats and heats the cold steel. It doesn't talk now, it doesn't have to... It's where it belongs. I hold it up to my face, I peer through the orange plastic at the world outside, the label skews the corner of my sight, everything is bent and imperfect, but it always has been.
13. 14. Where was I? Lost count again, it gets harder to concentrate as they take their turn dissolving.
My heart beats, I feel the blood coursing in my arm. "you chose this path" says the bottle, it really didn't have to remind me.
The floor is cold on my face. "why is the world sideways? I ask, with only silence as an answer. "here we are again gravity, just you and I." she doesn't answer, she can be a fickle bitch at times like this. She'll hold me in her warm grasp, but it's just a facade, to promise I won't move. It's too heavy anyway, the floor is suddenly soft, the softest thing I've ever felt. Just out of my reach, the cap sits, mocking me. The only thing within my reach... Reach, lift and pull. The world is upright now... I think. Bend my neck to check, and a wave sends half my body sideways with it. The only thing in my vision that isn't a blur, is the LED display on the microwave. It's 3:32, and once again I've fallen just short of my goal. There's always tomorrow.