My fucking so called life

Yin and yang, karma...things few believe in. It's not that I believe in much more than the core concepts.
As a teenager I raised hell, I fucked up what I could, when I could.
Even as no one is reading this, I'm questioning why a myth about my life must preceed me. I was told earlier how my wife finally left me, because after years of cheating on her she got fed up. The truth, her substance abuse and lack of compassion, led me to realize if I had to raise my kids alone, I might as well kick her out, and raise them alone.
Yet I get judged. By misinformed people. She took my kids away, after a year of no contact I begged her to watch them so I could care for my ill mother... One of the last rimes I saw them. They were stolen, by a junkie and a liar. Yet I pay the price, if it must be spoken in literal terms,$30,000. As if I'd never had them. As if I didn't give up everything I loved to wake up every day and cook breakfast,packed lunch and work a job until they got off the bus.
Who cares? All I get is rumors, of a life I haven't even lived, and why? Honestly? Jealousy. I've accomplished more, even in my anxiety ridden home sheltered couple of years, than all these kids making "the scene". Believe whAt you want, my personal life has suffered to compensate for my professional life flourishing. But I don't even care about that, it came down to me keeping myself entertained, because I miss my kids so much. Monday was my birthday, I spent it with them,and it was wonderful. It may be the last time i ever see them. Bit o loved them,more than anything on this earth. The only reason I'm confiding here is because no one will ever read this. I'm sorry. I'm tired. I have so many obligations, very serious ones at this point, I just don't want to wake up tommorow.
I've lived a long wonderful, amazing life. I'm tired. I'm sorry, I love so many of you, but I get spit on everyday. Let the rumors live,way past the man, a few people will know the truth. Who cares?