This morning I awaken the way it should be everyday. My children are here, they stayed up late playing games and watching tv.
I miss them everyday, and they have a part of my heart that I'll never get back, they reserve a part of myself that no one else will ever know.
When I was a fulltime father I sacrificed everything that came between us, I never recovered from the way they were ripped from my life. In the end I sacrificed even my relationship with them in hopes they'd still be brought up well, and have peace in their hearts. I would have fought until the bitter end to have them, but at what cost to their relationship to both parents? I felt it better to be calm, still.
I'll say good morning soon, make them breakfast, and they'll leave again. My heart will hurt for days after, longing for them. It's so bittersweet to spend evenings with my wonderful children.
I love you both so much, maybe someday you'll stumble across what I've written here, and maybe someday you'll understand why things are the way they are right now.