Humanity

It sounds shallow but honestly, one reason I've never committed myself to a psych ward, is because I don't want my piercings closing.
I eat like you, and I shit like you. But our commonality ends soon after that. I simply am not like other humans. I talk differently, act differently, and obvious look quite different. I began separating my physical appearance on purpose, then it took a life of it's own.
It must be an illness, right? I do have mental disorders, that mostly stem from my brains inability to slow down.
I can't sleep, and have severe anxiety, because my mind will not shut off. Which causes physical problems as well. Is intellect an illness? The world has grown dumb around me, and I have to question if it's just me that's wrong.
It's been 24 hrs since I wrote that first part. Unsure of whether to share it. I share everything. That's why I'm writing this now, I hurt, and if you think you know why, you don't. The person that hurt me, doesn't know, and it's not their fault. They will also never read this, or get a chance to know me this well. I will close myself off to them, rather than allow further insult. It's a shame because they could have been special. Instead, of course they are like everyone else. I forgive them, I release my hurt on this page, and I move on. I've barely opened my heart up and felt hurt twice in two weeks. Maybe it's a mistake.
I know there are a few possible eyes skimming this right now, and one pair that's afraid it's about them, it's not. I love you, and even with the hurt, through the hurt... I'll not give up on you.
Back to the rather ambiguous topic. People are shit, the world has grown mean, I feel misanthropic, except I open myself to anyone that cares. So in some aspect I'm the exact opposite. I have faith in mankind, I just keep being let down.
All of this human emotion, sadness, it's hurting my work, although I know in a few days it'll stoke the flames, right now it hurts. I don't want to close myself off again, but I don't wan to feel like this all the time either. A few deep breaths and compose myself. I don't feel lime I need to dwell anymore so I'm closing this up here.