A new chapter begins

I haven't posted in a few days, in that time period I've had some great experiences. Although I'm still struggling with my anxiety, gone are the dark clouds that were looming constantly overhead.
For the first time ever I'm tempted to go back and censor what Ive written. I'll leave it for now, but the hard times of last week, leave me with hope this week. What I went through is real, but even I don't want to go back and read that, I feel ashamed by how out of sync my life had become.
A few friends kind words, and stories that related to mine, have left me in a better place than I started, I won't name any names as per usual, but these individuals helped me through something they don't even understand... Especially one certain heroic person that seemed to put a smile on my face everyday****
even as more bad news poured in, it has barely seemed to hinder my desire to be a better person and fix what's broken in my life. Yesterday marked the end of my marriage, we had been seperated for several years, so I knew it was coming. The divorce proceedings went on without my knowledge, as my children were visiting. I could ellaborate more on this topic, it did leave me with somewhat of a raw nerve, and a feeling that a few bad things will occur soon, but overall I feel a giant weight lifted off of me, to be untangled from an estranged marriage.
I've been taking better care of myself, and it's only 6 days now until I see a dr. I pray they will see the need I have for treatment, and not just judge me based off appearance.
Speaking of... I may some changes to my appearance, I really want to reflect my inner growth with obvious outer change. I haven't decided on anything yet... Going to change my wardrobe, and possibly my hair. I've decided to get my lisence back, even if my brother uses my car most of the time, it'll be healthy for me to be able to leave when I want.
Sleep is still a factor, I can't seem to rest more than 2 hours a day, but I've been trying to just except it and move on, using the time to exercise or something instead. It's hard to be productive while sleep deprived, but I can at least try to be active some. I've started cleaning my room, I basically haven't lived here for several months, and ven lived with a tour mentality before that. It's nice to not live from a bag for a while.
I will be touring some though, I still plan to make my yearly trip to New Orleans this year, and now I'm scheduling monthly trips to "hang" with A.G.R.O. Suspension group.
As soon as a bit of sleep comes, I am starting back scheduling shoots, and winding back up on the production of xXRx and the brothers darqly albums... Blah blah blah, like i say, I only write in here when I'm upset... So, I have better things to do right now.